I wish I had known

    a common question to me at this particular age is of course , about marriage.
    majority of my same aged peers are already married , and has children.

   while I am still , busy enjoying life ; traveling mostly , doing all those things that I like
   to do , and things I have missed during early adolescent years
  ( significant loss of time during 5 1/2 years of MBBS study really ).

  It's not just that I only enjoy my life  and never plan about marriage.
  what I do now , is not solely to fill my time , but also serve as a purpose in exploring
  things to do together as a family in the future.
  ( sparing those extreme activities by the way )
  Also because of this reason i'm always occupied  , and didn't think much
  about relationship , until recently.

the plan about marriage already started since 4-5 years back , when I started to
seriously collecting resources and constructing my future plans , with the foundation
mostly anchored to religion , career and finance. 

   When I talk about finance , it's not to impress people to say ' Hey I'm a doctor
   I have a big house , big car and i'm rich '.
   my topmost concern is stability , not wealth.
   Being from a moderate family , I don't see myself to be a super rich doctor.
   and I don't plan on being one , because I don't like to sacrifice my time only
   for money. not worth it at all.

   marriage is not just a ' one-off to-do ' thing. It need to be sustained.
   and finance is one important factor needed to sustain it.

   Being late than my peers is not a bad thing after all. All these years I observe ,
   and keep observing , I see some successful marriages , but unfortunately
   broken ones too.

   I see  some OSCC ( One Stop Crisis Center ) cases too in
   Emergency Department , and see the increasing numbers of young newly weds
   involved in domestic violence to each other.

  mostly because of lack of planning. because of finance & miscommunication.
  the couple love each other , they are good people individually with a good
  family background , but without strong foundation and planning ,
  the love just fades away. Even my Mom and Dad always argue , and most of the
  time is about finance. And it hurts me , so much.
  we live in the age where everything revolves around money ,
  and we just have to accept it.
  Accept , plan properly and not exploit it.

I don't plan to be rich. I just want a stability.
I work on stability so that my concern & burden about finance is
taken care off early , and I can now focus on the more important  thing  ,
that is :

to SUSTAIN a family , not just to build a family.

and I hope I will never ever say ' I married a wrong person ' within 7 years of marriage.
love is fundamental , but love alone , is not enough.

*because statistically , most couples are divorced within first 7 years of marriage.

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1 Response to I wish I had known

  1. nuur iman says:

    This thought hit me hard!Lagi lagi yang tulisan kecik di bawah tu.